hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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