belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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