and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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