dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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