um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
