Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
