Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
is it fun? or sober?
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