So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
