Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
