I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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