Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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