We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
