So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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