Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
