dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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