Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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