Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize