I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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