Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
