i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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