4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
