Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
