Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
