i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
