so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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