It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
