can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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