We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
