the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize