All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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