I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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