The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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