Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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