I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Drake has all the answers
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
