we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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