so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
