Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
