So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
