What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
