He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
In the future we'll all be gay
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
