Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
