Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
