Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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