So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
