so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
