I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
