Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
