Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
