SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
