i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
