Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
