Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You took a bar mat shot.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
