Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
