Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize