Kiss
Puke
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
