So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
