yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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