I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
