I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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