This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize