when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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