Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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