I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
