anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
