I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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