Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize