carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
