in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
