dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
