I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
